but what a JERK!

I suppose the only real way to explain this without sounding crazy is if you lived in my subconscious,
and could relive that stupid memory like i can.

But now I'm mad. I don't get him at ALL.


Infuriating.

-amanda.

This is actually really strange, as I haven't typed a single letter on this website in a matter of months. Of course I regret it, but life's taken me for a ride, and I hardly ever found the time to record it all.

Basics first. Details.

I don't suppose that I've changed much. Physically, there was no exterior metamorphosis. I'm still undoubtedly quirked, snarky, and that sarcastic flare hasn't died down.

You remember that eighth grade boy from last year? He's out of my life.

For good?

I can never answer that. I told myself repeatedly that I was over him, and for a good amount of time, I was convinced. I never saw him around, and when I did, I kept walking. Internally, I was still hooked. But I think, and this is only speculation, that I held to him only because he was what caused my decisions. My good memories were based on us together. It was, in its entirety, unrequited crushing. Not "love."

I suppose all I wanted was to be.. wanted.

I want to say that the troubles of the opposite sex have faded from my life. Far from it.

I suppose that, when all of these issues further progress, that I'll tell you more. For now, I'll leave it at that.

High school is particularly strange. Freshman. The funny thing about it is that somehow, the people I knew last year, ones who never even bothered to say hi to me when we were all alone on campus, are suddenly some of my closest allies. People who I trust.

And of course, those who didn't like me to begin with still have a dislike for me. I can see it in their eyes, when we pass each other in public. A scowl from them, a look of unquestionable distaste from me.

Grades. Can I just explain myself before you jump to your persnickety conclusions? Thank you.

I've never excelled in math, especially the honors type. Generally, out of that class comes a C+. And geometry is no walk in the park, especially when you're expected to fly above and beyond on what I comprehend in lessons, yet blank on upon the first test question.

Everything else is teetering as well, a sure sign for worry. Thankfully, the semester is OVER. A fresh start.

English, with my demonic teacher, is well at ease, as I have a C+ in her class. It counts as a B+ in honors terms.

Science, I'm sure I have something around a B. I'm proud of this.

Phys. Ed. I took scuba for this semester, leaving me with a proud A-/B+ in the class. Regular P.E begins tomorrow, including running, running, and running, in addition to sports.

Photography, aced with a B+. Once again, simplicity at its finest.

Spanish. Picture it with me. A hellish classroom, where I have been plunked beside one of my best friends and beneath an air conditioning unit. Across from me sits another old friend, a new ally, and the other half of the classroom. In the middle of the split rows sits a projector, placed dully on a rolling table. A whiteboard has been covered by a projector screen, and writing in blue washable marker is a bitchy, irritating, bitter woman with strange braids that are ALWAYS tied in a bun, regardless of the weather. She turns to the class students, who are obviously in a good mood, opens her mouth..

..and shoots lasers at the students, immediately frying their brains. She hurries to the computer, changes each grade to an F, and flees the classroom, cackling maniacally.

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated. So sue me.

Today is day three of the new year. 2010. I call it OH-TEN.
A new year, for me, especially a new decade, means a fresh start.

Exactly what I needed.

Until next time,

Amanda Traci, High School Extraordinaire.

I'm writing this as an official high school freshman.

Of what school, you might be asking?

Well..

...the horrible truth is...


I have no idea what HS i'm going to.

I plan to be at Osos, thanks to a transfer, but of course, there's the chance that I might not make it in.

I feel sort of sick to my stomach writing that sentence.

conGRADulations! xD

-Amanda!